I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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