Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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