HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
