He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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