K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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