I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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