Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
