PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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