We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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