Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
