he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
