well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
