i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
