i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Everything about him screamed your future.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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