I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
