the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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