is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
