Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
