he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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