Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
