Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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