I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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