Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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