New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
