what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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