just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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