Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
