I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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