Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
