I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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