Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
