Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
