i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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