I CAN MOONWALK!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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