So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i came on her dog
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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