yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
