If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
