return my video game
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I will be naked everywhere
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
