maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
