I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
sex in a hospital.. check
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
