They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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