You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
