Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
