So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
