Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
