She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
