So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ladies don't puke and tell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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