***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
