we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
