just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
