so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
nutella sex= disaster
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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