i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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