Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
