Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
